Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
