just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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