we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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