I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
