took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
