True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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