Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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