Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
