I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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