woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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