is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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