just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
