is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
