just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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