tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
