capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
