Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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