he shaved USA in his pubs
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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