Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
