1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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