I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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