He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
