Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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