..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
