I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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