I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize