I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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