Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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