420 ftw
She's JV to your varsity
time to smoke my breakfast
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
