im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
