How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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