Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
