: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
