I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
