dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
