"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
This house was built for laser tag.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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