So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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