Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
