if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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