two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
