I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
