What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
