a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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