we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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