Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
