we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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