I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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