it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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