What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
