Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
