U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
