You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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