he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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