i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
