It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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