I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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