This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
