I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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