so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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