moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
